


I'm not good for him

by hotcocoa



Series: BokuAka Week 2016 [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, BokuAka Week, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-07
Updated: 2016-04-07
Packaged: 2018-05-31 20:54:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6487087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hotcocoa/pseuds/hotcocoa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Day 3: Confessions</p><p>Bokuto confesses. Akaashi rejects him. Bokuto falls apart. Akaashi puts him back together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm not good for him

“Akaashi, what the hell?” Kuroo’s voice snarled through the phone.

“May I help you, Kuroo-san?” Akaashi asked in an even, measured voice.

“I know you like Bokuto, so what the fuck gives?”

Akaashi set his jaw. “You know no such thing,” he replied coldly.

“The hell I do! Don’t try to give me any fucking excuses, Akaashi, because I’ve seen the way you look at him, as if the way you two interact wasn’t already enough,” Kuroo snapped. “If you don’t tell me why in the hell you rejected Bokuto right now, I’m gonna come over there and beat your ass myself.”

There was a long silence. “Akaashi—”

“Because I’m not good for him.” Akaashi’s voice betrayed no emotion, but he was glad that this was a phone call so that Kuroo didn’t have to see the pain in his face.

“Because _what_ now?”

“Bokuto-san…is passionate. Energetic. He throws himself into everything, and everything he does consumes him, and I can’t—I’m not—” Akaashi took a shaky breath and tried to compose himself. “He needs someone who can return that enthusiasm. I’m not…” He finished quietly. “I can’t make him happy.”

There was a stunned silence on the other end of the line. “Holy shit,” Kuroo said finally. “I _am_ going to come over there and kick your ass.”

Akaashi’s eyes widened in surprise. “Kuroo-san—?”

“When did you get to decide what will or won’t make Bokuto happy?” Kuroo demanded. “If you want Bokuto to be happy, I suggest you fucking do something, because he’s been crying on and off for the past four hours and nothing I say or do will make him feel better.” Akaashi flinched. “He thinks you hate him, Akaashi. That you only put up with him for the sake of the team, that you’re disgusted by his confession, that you—”

“Kuroo-san.” Akaashi’s voice broke. “Please stop.”

“Fucking fix it.” There was a click and the line went dead.

Akaashi stared at the phone in his hand, feeling slightly numb. Maybe Kuroo was right, but…didn’t Bokuto deserve better?

_He thinks you hate him._

No, please—

_That you’re disgusted by his confession._

He could never—

_Thinks that you hate him, you hate him, you hate him—_

Akaashi’s hands were shaking as he opened his texts, pressing Bokuto’s name without thinking.

[9:42 PM] Akaashi: Bokuto-san

He hesitated before sending the next message. It felt wrong, it felt selfish, but Kuroo had said—

[9:43 PM] Akaashi: May I come over? I need to speak to you.

Time seemed to drag on as Akaashi stared at his phone, waiting for an answer seemingly in vain. His heart leapt into his throat when his phone vibrated, but sank again immediately when he saw that it was from Kuroo.

**[9:49 PM] Kuroo: Just come over.**

Akaashi hesitated. _Are you sure?_ he typed.

**[9:51 PM] Kuroo: I swear to god, Akaashi**

**[9:52 PM] Kuroo: He’s not gonna answer your texts, I think he thinks you want to ask to leave the team or something.**

**[9:52 PM] Kuroo: So please, I’m begging you, come fix this.**

**[9:52 PM] Kuroo: Please.**

All of Akaashi’s breath left his body in a rush as he realized just how much he had really, truly fucked up. He barely paused to grab his jacket as he headed out the door, calling out some excuse to his parents over his shoulder.

Akaashi’s heart drummed against his ribcage as he made his way to Bokuto’s house, trying to keep his breathing under control. When he finally reached the door, Kuroo answered.

Akaashi expected to be yelled at, but Kuroo reached up to rub his neck sheepishly. “I’m sorry,” he said. “That was harsh.”

“No,” Akaashi replied. “You were right. I’m so sorry—”

His bow was interrupted by a shove on his back, pushing him into the house as Kuroo stepped outside. “Just go.”

Akaashi nodded, following the stairs up to Bokuto’s room and knocking on the door. “Bokuto-san?” When there was no answer, Akaashi pushed the door open gently, and immediately kind of wished he hadn’t.

Bokuto was curled up on his bed, his hair a mess and tissues littering the sheets and floor around him. His red-rimmed eyes widened when he saw Akaashi standing in the doorway. “What are you doing here?” he asked in a panic as he rushed to sit up, wiping his face and attempting to do something with his hair that just made it messier.

Akaashi’s heart ached. “I came to apologize, Bokuto-san,” he said, taking a step into the room. “I’ve been selfish, and—”

“If you want to quit the team you don’t have to ask,” Bokuto choked, drawing his legs up to his chest. “Just go.”

Akaashi’s heart sank. Kuroo had been right. He stepped forward to kneel next to Bokuto’s bed. “Bokuto-san, I’m so sorry,” he said, trying not to sound choked up himself. “I was worried that I wasn’t good enough for you but Kuroo was right, I should never have rejected you and I’m so, so sorry.”

Bokuto blinked slowly and looked at Akaashi as if he was seeing him for the first time. “Not…good enough…for me…?” he repeated incredulously.

Akaashi looked down at his hands. “Everything you do is done with such passion, Bokuto-san, and I admire that about you so much.” His hands clenched around the fabric of his pants. “I just worry that. I could never return your feelings with the same enthusiasm that you do. I—”

“Wait, wait,” Bokuto said, sitting forward. “But you do return my feelings?”

Akaashi looked up at him and as his eyes connected with Bokuto’s golden ones, he melted. “Of course, Bokuto-san,” he said. “How could I n—”

Bokuto didn’t let him finish. He lurched forward, body half hanging off the bed as he wrapped his arms around Akaashi’s neck and pulled him into a sloppy kiss. Akaashi made a noise of surprise before closing his eyes and returning the kiss with equal fervor, pressing his hands against Bokuto’s chest and rising up to meet his lips.

Bokuto’s eyes were shining in an entirely different way when he pulled back, grinning at Akaashi. “That seemed pretty enthusiastic to me.”

Akaashi blushed furiously. Bokuto laughed, but as he leaned back a pout spread across his face. “I wish you would have just said so in the first place.” He glanced around his room with a mixture of guilt and embarrassment. “Then I would have looked good, and you wouldn’t have to see me like this—”

“I think you look beautiful.” The words just came out of Akaashi’s mouth without thinking. Bokuto’s eyes widened and he blushed deeply enough to match Akaashi.

“You’re beautiful too!” Bokuto declared, pulling Akaashi up on the bed to hug him. They stayed like that for a moment before Akaashi broke the silence with a whispered “I’m sorry.”

Bokuto frowned down at him for a moment before a smile spread across his face. “I think I know a way that you can make it up to me.”

Akaashi looked up at him in confusion. He didn’t even have time to open his mouth to ask how before Bokuto’s lips were pressed against his as Bokuto pushed him down into the mattress. They were too busy to notice when both of their phones vibrated at the same time, the message displayed on their screens left unread until the next morning.

**[10:27 PM] Kuroo: GET SOME ;)**


End file.
